The Difference Between Doing It Badly and Feeling Bad and How to Use That to Help Yourself

Posted By: on August 30, 2017
Life is about lessons. One tip to surviving its ups and downs is to know the difference between doing it badly and feeling bad. One you have less control over and the other you have more control over. Experiences are Great Teachers Doing something badly does not necessarily mean that you feel bad about it. Sometimes you chalk it up to experience or inexperience. You’re proud of yourself for trying. Your Perception Determines Your Experience You could attempt to do something, execut

Learning to Stay: How to Move Through Emotions Instead of Avoiding Them

Posted By: on August 16, 2017
Emotions - albeit painful at times - are easier to deal with than emotional avoidance, a leading cause of many psychological problems. When a person avoids feeling the magnitude of negative emotions, they come up with a temporary solution that makes them feel better. What they don’t realize, however, is that short-term comfort often leads to long-term pain. Noam Shpancer, Ph.D. explains how avoidance behavior is detrimental to many people’s lives. For example, when a person puts off feeli

How to Prepare for Difficult Life Situations

Posted By: on August 02, 2017
Life has a way of throwing you a curveball at times. Rather than leave yourself at the mercy of chance, why not act by preparing in advance for difficult scenarios? By doing so, you stand a greater chance of moving past life’s challenges quickly. Build Resilience Through Decisive, Thoughtful Actions One way to do that is by building resilience through decisive, thoughtful action. The American Psychological Association (APA) recommends keeping things in perspective and taking decisive act

Better Communication for Couples (Part 2): How to Avoid Becoming Defensive

Posted By: on July 19, 2017
Now that you’ve had the opportunity to diffuse defensive behavior in others, it’s time to work on your own defense mechanisms. What causes you to feel insecure? Do you go on the defense every time someone brings up something about yourself that you don’t want to hear? Here are some tips that will help you avoid becoming defensive: Know that the person critiquing you means well. That’s why it’s important to listen for the truth in the conversation. It doesn’t matter if it’s

Better Communication for Couples (Part 1): What to Do When Your Partner Gets Defensive

Posted By: on July 06, 2017
There are a number of things going on when your partner gets defensive. You can always send them to a therapist! Of course, that might not be the best first step! Try this first: he or she may feel threatened or hurt by what you’ve said. They feel the need to explain their actions because they feel that there’s been an accusation, and they feel it’s unjust or unfair. A less common reason to be defensive is when he or she may be hiding something out of fear of telling you about it. They

When Baby Arrives: What You Need to Know About Staying Together as a Couple

Posted By: on June 21, 2017
Having a baby is a big life change. You can no longer go on vacation on a whim, stay out as late you want, or even sleep through the night. You now have something that is completely dependent on you for survival. It’s a stressful time learning to be parents and no one can fully prepare you for it. In fact, the birth of a child leads to marital dissatisfaction, with thirteen percent of new parents filing for divorce within the first five years after the birth of a child. Here are some ways to k

Why Money Can’t Buy Happiness

Posted By: on June 07, 2017
Many of us think that if we made more money or had more disposable income, we would be happier. But as the old saying goes, money really can’t buy happiness. It can buy security—studies have shown that people who make enough to live comfortably without worrying are happier than those who don’t—but it won’t actually make you happy. In fact, happiness levels increase with income up to an average of $75,000 a year. After that, it stays fairly consistent. There are a number of reasons mo