Even when a relationship has begun to turn toxic (or was always toxic), ending things can be a big decision to make and a hard thing to do. You may still love your partner, despite knowing that being with them isn’t healthy for you.
If you’re feeling trapped in a relationship that no longer feels healthy, or have recently ended a toxic partnership, these tips may prove helpful:
Be aware that there is a problem
If you know that something isn’t right, but you’re searching for confirmation that your relationship is truly unhealthy, you could talk to a counselor to air your thoughts and get a professional perspective. Recognizing that there might be a problem, is the first, and perhaps most important, step.
Honor your grief
Ending a relationship, even if it was unhealthy, can be painful and upsetting, but it’s important that you embrace the way you’re feeling, rather than suppressing your emotions.
Think about what you may have learnt
Even if your relationship was toxic, the time you spent with your partner would have taught you many things, and most of these can be beneficial in helping you grow and pursue new relationships with new partners.
Distance yourself while you heal
You may be able to have a healthy, plutonic relationship with your ex-partner in the future, but be sure to allow ample time for you to be apart from each other before you move toward this.
Shift the focus back to you
Much of your time with your partner may have been devoted to pursuits that didn’t make you happy, or which shifted the focus to the toxicity between you both. Refocus on yourself and spend time pursuing things that make you feel good.
Be willing to forgive
You may be experiencing feelings of guilt about your unhealthy relationship, but if you’re going to move on with your life, practice being kind, understanding and forgiving with yourself.
Be truthful about the relationship
It’s not uncommon for one person to want to remain in a toxic relationship in the hope of being able to change the other person, but ask yourself if you can honestly do this, and whether this is how you should be spending your time?
Don’t shy away from seeking help
The challenges associated with ending a toxic relationship can be myriad, and most would benefit from some emotional support during this time. Talking to a qualified counselor can help you to process your thoughts and acknowledge your feelings, while giving you the tools with which to move on with your life in a positive, healthy way.
Find help here: https://heartcenteredcounselors.com/couples-marriage-counseling/