How to Find your Calm Place When You Get Angry or Anxious

Anger and anxiety sometimes occur when people feel they’re losing control. If left to grow, the feelings can encroach upon a person’s life and negatively affect their ability to function well.

Here are some of the things you can do to find a sense of calm when you’re angry or anxious:

Sit quietly with your feelings

Give them a chance to come up without judgment. Don’t think of a quick-fix solution to getting past them. Instead, remain neutral and observe the physical sensations occurring in your body. Are there areas that feel tense? What emotion feels the strongest at the moment? Whatever you find, bring a gentleness and care to.

Focus on your breathing

A technique that helps minimize physiological symptoms of stress and anxiety is deep breathing. It helps you to slow down, open up your airways, and inhale/exhale with complete focus on the length of your breath.

Ask yourself why you’re reacting anxiously or angrily

Have you faced a similar experience before? Is something or someone triggering the response from you? What is the worst thing that could happen? What are ways you could deal with the problem if it worsened?

See if you discover irrational thoughts, and, if you do, give the rational mind a chance to weigh in on the subject. By not acting in the heat of the moment, your brain has a chance to catch up with your body and respond accordingly.

Picture the tension melting away

Visualize a place where you feel calm and safe. Keep a mental picture of the dream location in your mind. Imagine that in order to fully appreciate the moment, you bring feelings of gentleness and tenderness to the anxiety or anger that you’re feeling. Take a few deep breaths and imagine the tension being released from your muscles completely.

If the stress-relieving tips listed above don’t work, you might want to explore meeting with a therapist. Scheduling an appointment for a face-to-face visit or tele-therapy session with Heart-Centered Counselors helps. Being able to talk about difficult emotions allows you to see their value and learn ways to cope with them that bring real relief.