Learning How to Argue in Relationship


Disagreements in any relationship are inevitable, and that’s okay. Arguments tend to have a bad connotation, but arguments are not always bad things. If you are arguing with someone, that means that you care about that person enough to keep talking with them even through your disagree. Here are some ways to argue so that you are creating connections and not chaos.

Be Honest, but Not Cruel

Whenever we argue, people often say things that they don’t mean in the heat of an argument. Of course, it is important to share your side of the argument and be honest about how you feel, but try to speak in a way that is gentle toward the other person.

Listen to Their Perspective

Sometimes, we can become so angry in an argument that we stop listening to the other person. This does not help you find a resolution. When the other person is talking, try your best to calm yourself and really listen to what they are saying. Once you understand their thoughts and what they are trying to communicate, let them know that you’ve heard them and you understand and value their opinion. Then, try to work together to resolve things in a manner suitable to the both of you.

Don’t Just Walk Away

It can be so tempting to avoid arguments by simply walking away from them. Instead of creating resolution and connection, this just creates separation. It’s important to keep the conversation going to find resolution and forgiveness. Of course, if the conversation is getting out of hand, taking time out to let things simmer can be a great idea – just don’t forget to come back the conversation when gentler minds have returned.

Seek Couples Therapy

If you notice that you and your partner continuously argue over the same things again and again, there may be some miscommunication happening. A therapist can help you see your argument from a new perspective and work with both of you to find a resolution… and a healthy way to communicate! Couples therapy can also help prevent future arguments by allowing you to understand how your relationship could be improved.